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Friday, August 27, 2010

"SCOTT PILGRIM": A COOL MOVIE MY MOM DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE

Editor's note: I saw the film Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and enjoyed it, but I wasn't blown away, as I mentioned in my comments as a part of the excellent series running at The Junior Varsity. I don't deny it has a very strong visual aesthetic, and I quite enjoy the work of director Edgar Wright, but I was a little ambivalent. I figured I might be too old to be in the target audience, so I arranged for my intrepid 9-year-old junior reporter Spencer to see the movie without his mother's knowledge. His unedited words are below. Enjoy.


SO I SAW SOME OF THE TRAILERS FOR SCOTT PILGRIM AND I WAS LIKE, WOW THAT LOOKS LIKE A REALLY COOL MOVIE BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE A VIDEO GAME AND JAPANAMATION AND I WANTED TO SEE IT BUT I WAS PRETTY SURE MY MOM WOULDN'T WANT ME TO SEE IT BECAUSE OF THE VIOLENCE AND FIGHTING AND ROCK MUSIC AND GUESS WHAT I WAS RIGHT. WHEN JOE CALLED AND SAID HE WOULD GIVE ME SOME MONEY TO SEE IT AND CALL THE THEATER TO PRETEND TO BE MY DAD SO I COULD SEE IT I WAS LIKE WOW I REALLY WANTED TO SEE IT SO PLEASE LET ME SEE IT AND HE SAID OKAY.

I WENT TO GO SEE IT ON A MONDAY NIGHT SO THERE WEREN'T ALOTS OF PEOPLE IN THE THEATER THERE WAS SOME HIGH SCHOOL KIDS IN FRONT OF ME ONE GUY AND LIKE FIVE GIRLS AND I WAS LIKE I HOPE I'M THAT COOL WHEN I GET TO BE IN HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE HE HAS IT ALL FIGURED OUT. HE WAS SITTING AT THE END AND WAS WEARING A BEANIE AND BLAKC MUSCLE SHIRT AND FINGERLESS GLOVES AND HAD HIS ARM AROUND ONE OF THE GIRLS I THINK MAYBE I SHOULD GET CLOTHINGS LIKE THAT BECAUSE HE MADE IT WORK FOR HIM.

SO ANYWAYS THE MOVIE STARTED AND I LIKED IT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THE UNIVERSAL LOGO WAS LIKE A REALLY OLD VIDEOGAME JOE SAID IT WAS PROBABLY SUPPOSED TO BE A SEGA GENESIS HE SAID THOSE COST ALMOST AS MUCH AS A PLAY STATION DOES TODAY AND I LAUGHED ALOT AND SAID OLD PEOPLE WERE STUPID TO PAY SO MUCH MONEY FOR THOSE I HEARD JOE SIGH.

AFTER THE UNIVERSAL LOGO THE MOVIE ACTUALLY STARTED IT WAS ABOUT SCOTT PILGRIM WHO PLAYS IN A BAND HE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB THOUGH SO HE'S KIND OF A LOSER AND POOR BUT HE JUST STARTED DATING THIS GIRL KNIVES WHO IS GOOD AT DDR FIGHTING GAMES AND BEING CHINESE. SHE SEEMS REALLY COOL AND SCOTT SEEMS TO LIKE HER BUT THEN HE DREAMS ABOUT RAMONA AND MEETS RAMONA AND HE WANTS TO DATE RAMONA AND EVERYONE TELLS HIM HE SHOULD BREAK UP WITH KNIVES FIRST BUT HE PUTS IT OFF UNTIL AFTER HE HAS A DATE WITH RAMONA AND THEY MADE KISSY IN UNDERWEAR AND IT WAS SO AWESOME I HOPE I HAVE DATES LIKE THAT SOMEDAY.

SO ANYWAYS RAMONA HAS EVIL EX-BOYFRIENDS THAT SCOTT HAS TO FIGHT AND KILL IF HE WANTS TO DO MORE UNDERWEAR DATES WITH RAMONA AND THE REST OF THE MOVIE IS HIM FIGHTING EX-BOYFRIENDS AND ONE EXGIRLFRIEND (WHAT?) AND THEN AT THE END HE FINALLY GETS TO DATE RAMONA MORE. JOE WANTED TO KNOW IF I THOUGHT THE COMBINATION OF WINNINGS WITH FIGHTING AND SOMETIMES BEING SMARTER THAN THE EX WAS SOMETHING I LIKED OR DIDN'T LIKE BUT I LIKED ALL THE FIGHTS BECAUSE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOME KUGFU ACTION AND COLORS FLASHING SO IT DIDN'T REALLY BOTHER ME I GUESS.

I ALSO LIKED HOW SOMETIMES IT WOULD SEEM LIKE THEY WERE TALKING IN THE SAME PLACE THEY STARTED TALKING BUT THEN THEY WERE SOMEWHERE ELSE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THINGS THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS IS CALLED EDITING AND I LIKED IT BECAUSE IT WAS A SURPRISE. THERE WERE LOTS OF THINGS I NOTICED REALLY SMALL LIKE A SIGN WITH A FLICKERING LETTER SO IT SAID FIGHT IN A BACKGROUND OR HOW FUZZY STREETLIGHTS OUTSIDE LOOKED LIKE HEARTS WHILE SCOTT AND RAMONA WERE ON THE BUS I'LL BET I DIDN'T SEE ALL OF THEM.

SO ANYWAYS JOE ASKED ME A BUNCH MORE OF QUESTIONS ABOUT STUFF I LIKED AND DIDN'T LIKE AND I WAS LIKE YOU THINK ABOUT MOVIES TOO MUCH IT WAS REALLY COOL JUST ENJOY IT BUT ANYWAYS HERES SOME STUFF WE TALKED ABOUT. JOE WANTED TO KNOW IF I THOUGHT MICHAEL SERA WAS PLAYING THE SAME ROLE AND I WAS LIKE WHO IS MICHAEL SERA AND HE PLAYED SCOTT SO I SAID I LIKED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS FUNNY AND COOL. JOE SAID HE WAS IN YOUTH IN REVOLT AND I HADN'T HEARD OF IT AND PAPER HEART AND I HADN'T HEARD OF IT AND NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST AND I HADN'T HEARD OF IT. HE WAS IN JUNO THAT MY MOM WOULDN'T LET ME SEE BECAUSE IT GLORIFIED TEEN SEX AND IN SUPERBAD THAT MY MOM WOULDN'T LET ME SEE BECAUSE IT GLORIFIED TEEN SEX AND TEEN DRINKING AND ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT THAT MY MOM WOULDNT LET ME SEE BECAUSE IT GLORIFIED BEING SASSY. ALSO YEAR ONE.

HE ASKED ABOUT THE REST OF THE CAST AND LISTED OFF A BUNCH OF NAMES KEERUN CULKIN AS WALLACE WITH THE BOYFRIENDS AND MARK WEBBER AS STEPHEN FROM THE BAND AND ANNA KENDRICK AS STACEY THE SISTER AND AUBREY PLAZA AS JULIE WITH THE BLEEPS AND ALISON PILL AS KIM ON DRUMS AND MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD AS RAMONA WITH THE HAIR AND JOHNNY SIMMONS AS YOUNG NEIL ALSO ON BASS AND ELLEN WONG AS KNIVES AND CUTE AND JASON SCHWARTZMAN AS GIDEON THE BAD GUY AND I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS REALLY GOOD. THERE WERE MORE NAMES HE SAID BUT I STOPPED PAYING ATTENTION.

I LIKED ALL THE MUSIC A LOT AND PLAYING AND HOW KIM COUNTED THEM OFF ONE TWO THREE FOUR ALL THE TIME THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE PUNK BANDS FROM THE 80S AND 90S BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THEM BECAUSE GUESS WHAT MY MOM DOESN'T LET ME LISTEN TO PUNK. JOE SAID THERE WAS STUFF THAT REFERENCED OTHER EDGAR WRIGHT MOVIES AND MATRIX TWO AND THE POWER UP REDO WAS LIKE RUN LOLA RUN BUT I DIDN'T SEE THOSE SO WHATEVER I STILL LIKED EVERYTHING PRETTY GOOD.

SO ANYWAYS I REALLY LIKED SCOTT PILGRIM AND IT WAS FUNNY AND REALLY COOL TO LOOK AT AND I LIKED ALL THE MUSIC AND FIGHTS WITH PEOPLE BURSTING INTO COINS AND STUFF AND SOUNDS SPELLED WITH LETTERS AND IT WAS LIKE WATCHING A REALLY AWESOME COMIC BOOK. I WAS SUPPOSED TO RATE IT FROM ONE TO FIVE SO I WOULD TOTALLY GIVE IT FIVE BECAUSE IT WAS SUPER AWESOME AND I LIKE MOVIES THAT WERE AWESOME. I WANT TO BE COOL LIKE SCOTT AND THAT GUY WITH THE FINGERLESS GLOVES AND PLAY THE BASS NOW BECAUSE SCOTT PILGRIM TAUGHT ME THE BASS IS THE COOLEST INSTRUMENT IN THE BAND.

IF YOU LIKE MOVIES THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH AND HAVE ACTION STUFF AND LOOK NEAT ALL THE TIME YOU SHOULD SEE SCOTT PILGRIM BECAUSE IT WAS COOL AND IT TEACHES YOU SOMETIMES YOUR BIGGEST ENEMY IS YOURSELF AND YOU CAN BEAT IT BY GOING TO LUNCH SO UNTIL NEXT TIME THANKS FOR READING MY REVIEW THIS IS SPENCER BYE.

1 comment:

  1. BEST REVIEW EVER. He should be a regular guest commentator. I went into the movie very skeptical, but found it very enjoyable--I mean, not like the best thing ever, but good.

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