I Hate The Oscars: Best Actress Nods

Basically, tragic characters are smiled upon on Oscar night, be they transgender murder victims or paralyzed tomboys.

Can you feel it? That numb tingling in the back of your brain? You're not practicing auto-erotic asphyxiation, you're just getting a bad case of Oscar fever!

Here we go: women who excelled in acting this past year who may or may not be Meryl Streep!

Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

WHY SHE'S NOMINATED: She's Meryl Streep. It's the Oscars. The two go hand-in-hand, like peas and carrots, burgers and fries, or alcohol and making an ass of yourself.

CRITICAL RESPONSE: Pretty good. It's based on a true story and features strong performances from Streep, Amy Adams, and Stanley Tucci.

IHYFM RESPONSE: I haven't seen it. My parents liked it though.

WILL SHE WIN?: With Gabourey Sidibe in the mix, Streep stands a good chance of an upset but will probably go home empty handed, with nothing but her mountains of other awards and Oscars to comfort her.

Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

WHY SHE'S NOMINATED: She traveled outside her acting comfort zone, ie, romantic comedies with Hugh Grant, and displayed some chops in a more dramatic role.

CRITICAL RESPONSE: Decent. Yet another true story, the critical community admired Bullock's performance but panned the drama as a little too easy.

IHYFM RESPONSE: Unreviewed. I do like football and brunettes, though, so I guess I'd like it at least a little bit.

WILL SHE WIN?: Unlikely. Precious has a lot more momentum. Bullock winning would be akin to Marissa Tomei's My Cousin Vinny upset.

Carey Mulligan, An Education

WHY SHE'S NOMINATED: She's young and delivered a hell of a performance.

CRITICAL RESPONSE: Excellent, thanks in no small part to Mulligan's acting.

IHYFM RESPONSE: Wait for it... I haven't seen this yet. My buddy saw it on a plane to Europe and thought it was pretty good. He does have a man-crush on Peter Sarsgaard, though (NOTE: that may or may not be true).

WILL SHE WIN?: As a newcomer, she may stand the best overall chance of upsetting the Precious powerhouse.

Helen Mirren, The Last Station

WHY SHE'S NOMINATED: Celebrated actresses playing figures from history usually fare pretty well.

CRITICAL RESPONSE: Very good. Mirren, Christopher Plummer, and Jimmy McAvoy are all supposed to be at their very best on screen.

IHYFM RESPONSE: Why break a perfect streak? I haven't seen this either.

WILL SHE WIN?: Clearly, I don't have much of a frame of reference, but I'm going to say 'nay'.

Gabourey Sidibe, Precious

WHY SHE'S NOMINATED: Who doesn't love watching poverty-stricken girls vomit force-fed KFC?

CRITICAL RESPONSE: Very good. The story is sufficiently depressing and ultimately uplifting, and the cast is, I've heard, good at acting.

IHYFM RESPONSE: I. Still. Have. Not. Seen. This. Movie.

WILL SHE WIN?: For argument's sake, let's just say yes.

MISSING FROM THE LIST?

When I haven't seen one of the performances actually nominated, I feel this section is perhaps a bit moot. I did like Alison Lohman in Drag Me To Hell, but that's not really Academy fare.