"Funny People": it was funnier than "Funny Games"

Following the immense success of directorial efforts "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and "Knocked Up", Judd Apatow made a movie about how gorgeous his wife Leslie Mann is and how adorable their daughters are, and nobody came.

The movie was packed with stars - de facto everyman Seth Rogen, "Punch Drunk Love" drama veteran Adam Sandler, sidekicks Jonah Hill ("Superbad") and Jason Schwartzman ("Rushmore"), and self-reflexive cameos from the comedic likes of Ray Romano, Dave Attell, Norm MacDonald, Aziz Ansari, Sarah Silverman, Carol Leifer, Al Lubel, Andy Dick, Paul Reiser, and even James Taylor and Eminem. The movie came from Judd Apatow, who since "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" has had his hand in basically every comedy to come out of Hollywood. The story was supposed to be about a young comic finding his voice by helping a seasoned superstar face his mortality. On paper, it seems like a sure thing.

Now first, let me clarify: I am a sucker for stand up comedy, and anything about stand up. I absolutely loved the documentary "The Comedians of Comedy", which followed Patton Oswalt, Zach Galifianakis, Brian Posehn, and Maria Bamford on a short West Coast tour doing comedy in small rock clubs. Aside from small parts of their sets on the road, there is a great deal of discourse about how a comic develops and the different brands of comedy. I similarly am an avid listener to the Comedy Death-Ray Radio podcast, where basically anyone in comedy, be they Mr. Show alum, Upright Citizen's Brigade players, or former members of The State, come on and wax philosophical with host (and Mr. Show alum/Comedy Death-Ray co-founder) Scott Aukerman. A movie about comics working on their comedy is right up my alley. In the words of comic songwriting duo Hard 'N Phirm (Chris Hardwick and Mike Phirman), I am a comedy nerd. When I first saw the give-away-the-whole-movie-trailer, I was excited.

Then came the reviews. The phrases "most personal film" and "unfocused" popped up time and time again. A movie about struggling comics and actors getting help from a seasoned veteran would have been great. A movie about a lonely superstar coming to terms with his life and lost opportunities would likewise have been great. Kind of mix the two together, though, and you end up with a movie that's... well, unfocused and personal.

Adam Sandler plays an aging superstar that has a rare form of leukemia. Trying to find his roots, he stops at an old stand up haunt and gives a grim monologue. Struggling comic Seth Rogen tries to follow the act as best he can, and scraps together a few laughs at Sandler's expense. Inexplicably, Sandler decides to hire Rogen to write some material for him. Rogen then has to juggle Sandler's mood swings and his roommates, the jealous Jonah Hill and ego maniacal Jason Schwartzman. Shit hits the fan when Sandler recovers and decides to chase after his ex Leslie Mann, who is married to Eric Bana who miraculously fathered Judd Apatow's daughters.

So, basically, it's everything you saw in the trailer, except some of the funnier jokes from the trailer inexplicably are absent from the finished film (no Sandler bits about sex with girlfriends or Rogen's "my face is circumcised"). Had the film been focused on either the "struggling comics and actors" plot or the "lonely superstar facing his mortality" story, we would have had ourselves a tight comedy or dramedy, but mixing the two makes for an uneven tale that's only intermittently amusing.

It's not to say "Funny People" is completely devoid of value or insight, however. Buried underneath the loose editing and writing (even for an Apatow movie) there are some pearls, such as the aforementioned foul-mouthed cameo of one Mr. Marshall Mathers at a party of stars after Sandler's recovery:

We're not always so lucky to get second chances. The underlying message that Apatow seems to be driving at is that when we do, we can't change the past, but we need to learn from previous failures so we have a chance at getting it right the next time around. Had "Funny People" been an hour shorter, that message may have come across more clearly and humorously. As a comedy fan, I can only hope that Apatow learns from these shortcomings and gets his next project right.

TOO MUCH: Leslie Mann subplot, being able to see Seth Rogen's weight fluctuate from scene to scene

COULD HAVE USED MORE: good jokes from the trailer, better editing choices, comedians talking about comedy, an hour less of run time

FILM SNOB NOTE: Seth Rogen wearing an Upright Citizen's Brigade tee in one of the earlier scenes at Sandler's mansion is not a fluke. The UCB has been the birthing place and playground for the best comedians in show business for over a decade.

IHYFM RATING: TWO AND A HALF out of FIVE MEHS.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: A funny person, you are not.

"Twilight: New Moon": Is the overwhelming hype enough to get me to the theater?

No, it's not.

"2012": The Day After Godzilla's Independence Day

It was the highest-grossing film debut for a non-sequel, non-adaptation ever worldwide. My dollars were not included in that gross, but seeing as it's at the very least a temporary cultural phenomenon, and sure to be a source of anxiety for an arbitrary date three years from now, I had to bite the bullet.

I choked back bile and tears last night as I approached the ticket booth and uttered the phrase, "one for 2012, please".

Sitting in a half-full theater on a Monday night, I pulled out a trusty Moleskine notebook (it's what Hemingway used!), and I settled my ass into a seat and braced myself for two hours and thirty-eight minutes of a movie I'd more or less already seen in its entirety. If you would also like to see the movie more or less in its entirety, watch the 4th trailer here, which due to restrictions I can't embed. My favorite part of the trailer is the phrase, "ONE DATE WILL UNITE US ALL", which you could answer with either "Independence Day", "The Day After Tomorrow", or "10,000 BC" all of which were previous efforts from "2012" director Roland Emmerich.

Comedian Chris Hardwick once told a story about updating his Twitter followers that he was about to meet Michael Bay, and they should send him any questions they had for the director. One follower responded with something to the effect of, "ask him if, as a child, he was molested by an explosion". The same could be said for Emmerich, if you merely replaced the word "explosion" with "imploding landmark". The man has a flair, if not outright fetish, for the destruction of recognizable buildings and the near-extinction of mankind.

Sony head of distribution, Rory Bruer, was quoted after the record-breaking weekend as saying, "Roland is that type of filmmaker that casts his net really wide. The story is something people could really relate to. It's the story of the survival of humanity." Yup, watching that trailer, that's just a day at the office for all of us rank and file folks, isn't it?

The inevitable tug at the "humanity of us all" heartstrings in "2012", as well as the rest of Emmerich's work, does not delve beyond, or perhaps even as deep, as the famous footage from Lakehurst, NJ in 1937.

Emmerich gets us in the gut not because we have any attachment to his characters, but because we are rubbernecking and thinking, "that is horrible - I'm glad that's not me". In the escape from LA in "2012", Emmerich even goes so far as to evoke the terrorist attacks of 2001 as people fall helplessly from crumbling buildings, and all our heroes, and we, can do is watch and be thankful we're either safe in the plane or in the theater.

Who ultimately lives and dies in the worlds of Emmerich depends on whether you're a child (preferably American) or thin and attractive A-list actor. It has nothing to do with chance, or morality, or realistic probability, for that matter, so any so-called lessons we can take from these movies end at "the best way to survive the apocalypse is to be the star in a movie about the apocalypse". Also, there's the inevitable George Costanzaism, "You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way!"

"2012" follows John Cusack, a struggling novelist and struggling divorced dad. After scientists look at some sun flares and the Mona Lisa is put in a big box, Cusack takes his kids camping in Yellowstone, where a lake has disappeared and the military is guarding the void. Conspiracy theorist and AM radio host Woody Harrelson explains that when the Mayan calendar restarts (YES PEOPLE, it doesn't END 12-21-2012, it RESTARTS)* the Earth will more or less implode.

Do you think Woody is right or wrong about the end of the world, in context of the movie? Pause this blog, and write down your answer now.

Cusack takes his kids back to divorced wife Amanda Peet and her new husband, Plastic Surgeon/Amateur Pilot Guy That Looks Vaguely Like Anthony Edwards (Thomas McCarthy) just as Cusack needs to report to work as a limo driver and pick up Russian Tycoon's Fat Twins and take them to the airport.

The pavement is slowly cracking up everywhere. I wonder if something is wrong?

The Governor of California, who has an Austrian accent and is supposed to be a former actor (GET IT?), tells everyone via news conference that everything is fine. Cusack rents a plane, because he thinks everything is NOT fine, and rushes back to get his ex-wife and kids.

Guess what? Everything is NOT FINE! Shit is about to get wild!

Cusack and Co drive halfway across Los Angeles to the Santa Monica Airport. The entire way, the ground crumbles RIGHT BEHIND the limo's rear wheels. The limo dodges falling cars, chunks of building, and not only drives under an overpass JUST AS IT FALLS TO THE GROUND, it drives THROUGH A COLLAPSING BUILDING which stays stable just long enough for a limo to drive through it before crashing out the other side.

Are you starting to get a feel for what this movie is all about? It's about defying physics and gravity to just escape total annihilation over and over again. Like Jake Gyllenhaal outrunning the cold (really) in "Day After Tomorrow", "2012" is built around impossible escapes. After the limo ride through crumbling LA, there is not one, not two, but three impossible plane takeoffs as runways crumble beneath the gears, two entire flights amidst decomposing buildings, and one flight through an essential meteor shower. A cat has nine lives. I lost count, but I assure you, John Cusack has plenty more.

I could go into more detail about the plot and characters, but really, there's no point. It's just a bunch of cardboard cutouts that will predictably either survive or die, and the movie is over when the last few survive or die.

I will say this about "2012", though. I did feel that there was a common bond shared by everyone in the theater after watching over two and a half hours of the almost-end-of-times. As the end credits started to roll, the bond was palatable.

Everyone couldn't wait to get the fuck out of that theater.

TOO MUCH: escaping in just the nick of time, "plot"

COULD HAVE USED MORE: John Cusack holding a boom box over his head to woo Amanda Peet

FILM SNOB NOTE: Roland Emmerich, by my count, has destroyed Washington DC and Los Angeles three times apiece, New York twice, and San Francisco and Rio de Janeiro once apiece. Chicago wins.

IHYFM RATING: ONE AND A HALF out of FIVE MEHS. Hey, the CGI was impressive, even if it usually did serve to piss me off.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: I want to slap you as hard as I can Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow.

*For the record, the world is not going to end December 21st, 2012. It's going to end when Skynet becomes self-aware.

IHYFM BONUS: NOTES FROM THE SCREENING!

Below, please enjoy some of my Moleskine scribblings from my viewing of "2012".

- [during the trailer for "Invictus"] "of COURSE Morgan Freeman plays Nelson Mandela. Bet he just beat out Ice Cube for the role"

- "the movie just started and I have to pee. as little as I want to spend 2 hrs 38 min watching this movie, the less I want to spend 2 hrs 38 min risking bladder infection"

- "solar flares! yikes!"

- "see the Capitol Dome? Washington DC! see Big Ben? London! see Eiffel Tower? Paris!"

- "we're in San Francisco - will the Golden Gate survive? Smart money says... yes!"

- "what happened to the lake? let's [military and government] tell the civilians EVERYTHING GOING ON!"

- "Woah! THEME! Do people act selflessly if they know they're fucked?"

- "Ominous music! Slow camera moves! People looking at the internet!"

- "the real Woody Harrelson wouldn't like pickles. He's a raw food guy."

- " 'There's something pulling us apart.' GROUND CRACKS. GET IT?"

- "GET IT? She's like Paris Hilton! GET IT? He's like Arnold Schwarzenegger!"

- "All of LA is swallowed by the Pacific, and we're supposed to be sad... why?"

- "I want the Prez to announce the world is over via Twitter."

- "The Washington Monument just got E.D."

- "Hey. Man just lost touch with God... LITERALLY!"

- "Part Titanic part Casablanca part Poseidon Adventure remake. About as good as Poseidon Adventure remake."

- "Intercom cockblock."

"A Serious Man": a dark Jewish comedy even a goy can enjoy

I'm originally from Minnesota. I study films. Ipso facto, I love the Coen Brothers.

I don't love everything they've done. Their remake of "The Ladykillers", despite Tom Hanks' flamboyant portrayal of Professor GH Dorr, was ultimately a let down. I wasn't compelled enough to see "Intolerable Cruelty". Even though I love it, I'll be the first to admit that the sum of "The Big Lebowski" is far less than its parts, even the part where Jeff Bridges is nailed with a coffee mug or has a marmot dropped in his tub.

The fact that the Coens don't aim for the approval of film goers like me, or, more importantly, film goers that flocked to see "2012" this past weekend, is their greatest strength. The unique dialog and flair for dark and ironic comedy that permeates their career works would never have come to light had they set out to be conventional filmmakers. It comes as no surprise, then, that their latest offering, "A Serious Man", is not as accessible as most movies, but is also far more engaging, and funny, than most.

"A Serious Man" takes a page from the Book of Job and applies it to Larry Gopnik (relative unknown Michael Stuhlbarg), a college physics professor in late 1960's Minnesota. Everything that can possibly go wrong in his life does. His wife matter-of-fact-ly announces they need to start thinking about divorce, his tenure is up in the air thanks to anonymous letters, probably written by a disgruntled student, and his idiot-savant brother can't get off the couch or on the right side of the law. He seeks the advice of three rabbis, each of which offers more useless advice than the previous.

In the hands of most other filmmakers, this would be heavy, depressing material. With the Coens, though, it is a comedy, albeit a dark one, that had me laughing almost the duration of the film. I am not exaggerating - for most of the run time, if I wasn't laughing out loud, I was stifling chuckles.

The humor of the Coens comes through the straightforward absurdity they create situations on screen. Larry's children, whom his wife is terrified of dragging into their divorce proceedings, are oblivious to the marital troubles even when Larry is asked to move out of the house. Rather, they are more concerned with the fact his wallet isn't around to pilfer nose job money from, and that "F-Troop" is coming in fuzzy.

When we aren't shown why going to your own Bar Mitzvah stoned is a bad idea or told an ultimately unresolved dental mystery, though, the Coens present a potentially bleak view of the universe with the question, is there an underlying cosmic reason to our suffering? Although they never definitively come to a conclusion, you don't get the sense that Larry's trials will be rewarded like Job's eventually were, but therein lies the conundrum of faith, especially when it comes to Job: it is only through not losing his faith that Job is ultimately rewarded. However, we can't help but ask: if our name isn't Job, are we being tested, or does life just suck huge amounts of ass?

The Coens won't answer for you, but they'll make you laugh as you ponder.

TOO MUCH: the film didn't need the opening sequence

COULD HAVE USED MORE: one more scene with Larry's romantic rival Sy Ableman, as well as one more with his sultry next door neighbor

FILM SNOB NOTE: An attorney Larry is referred to works for Tuckman Marsh, the law firm handling George Clooney's divorce proceedings in "Burn After Reading". Kids on the bus to Hebrew school channel The Dude's bowling buddies in "The Big Lebowski".

IHYFM RATING: FOUR AND A HALF out of FIVE MEHS.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: You picked one of the better films of one of the best American writer/director teams around. Mazel tov.

"Zombieland": finding zombie comedy jokes 'Shaun of the Dead' missed

When I first heard of "Zombieland" this spring, following an incident wherein Woody Harrelson punched a paprazzi photographer because he thought they were a zombie, I was intrigued. A zombie comedy, when we already had the superlative "Shaun of the Dead"? Could there be any zombie jokes that hadn't already been mined?

Surprisingly, yes.

"Zombieland" follows a young loner, Jesse Eisenberg ("Roger Dodger"), who has survived the zombie apocalypse because he's spent his life as a paranoid shut-in. He crosses paths with Woody Harrelson, a zombie-ass-kicking nut that is driven only by the search for Twinkies. They team up with the conning sisters Emma Stone ("Superbad") and Abigail Breslin ("Little Miss Sunshine") on their journey west to an amusement park, because, well, there's nowhere else to go. The journey and destination are filled with plenty of silly post-apocalyptic mayhem, from luring zombies out of hiding with a few recognizable strains on the banjo to destroying a store for the fun of it because nobody else is going to mind.

Although it's not really forging new territory in the zombie genre, "Zombieland" works because it is genuinely funny, due to both the writing and the cast. Woody Harrelson is as funny as he has ever been on screen, and Jesse Eisenberg likewise reminds us he wrote the book on being George Michael Bluth before anyone heard of Michael Cera. Emma Stone is charming and funny, and Abigail Breslin proves she can have a little edge on the screen. "School of Rock"/"Orange County" scribe Mike White has a funny bit as a gullible gas station attendant, and towards the end there's a surprise cameo that is, well, to die for.

"Zombieland" never commits the Cardinal Comedy Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Forget Thou Art a Comedy. Even when the requisite somber back stories of our heroes are revealed, the scenes end with a laugh. "Zombieland" also embodies the mantra "brevity is the soul of wit"; at scarcely 82 minutes, the movie isn't long enough for the jokes to wear thin, and as the credits roll, you can't help but ask for more.

TOO MUCH: there was one rule of survival aside that was ultimately pointless, other than to temporarily separate some of the characters. Boo.

COULD HAVE USED MORE: one liners from Woody

FILM SNOB NOTE: Try and miss the Twinkie connection with the surprise cast member. Don't check the IMDB page before you see the movie. Also, it's not joked about, but the irony of vegan/raw-food enthusiast Woody Harrelson wanting nothing from life but a Hostess Twinkie is

worth a chuckle.

IHYFM RATING: ABOUT FOUR out of FIVE MEHS.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: Aside from the zombies, it's not a mind-blowing movie (GET IT?), but at least it's a solid comedy.

"V for Vendetta": a 1980's graphic novel that predicted the Patriot Act

Ah, the life of a college film student. You spend as many nights trying to convince other film majors that idolize Wes Anderson that their fan-dom makes them mild douchebags as you do trying to perfect scripts ostensibly about vampires but are actually about the reunification of Germany*, which makes you a mild douchebag as well.

It was 2005. I was headed into my senior year, and had since the 2000 elections grown more and more politically aware. As you can probably gather from the title of the post, I was not the biggest fan of the Bush administration, and was constantly thinking about the various ways the medium of film could express the frustration that I felt many people had with the White House, but because of the "you're with us or against us" mentality were afraid or unable to fully express.

My college pet project that never really materialized was an adaptation of "Catch-22" for the Iraq war, which I had tentatively titled "Stop Loss". Never mind the fact an Iraq war drama of the same name was recently released, to do the source material justice is all but impossible, if you don't believe me, sit down and watch the star-studded flop of 1970 (not that it really matters, but I did eventually write and direct a gentle "Office"-esqe satire of the Bush administration before graduation). It was frustrating that, for the most part, the mainstream entertainment industry only had Jon Stewart and eventually Stephen Colbert to take Bush and Co. to task for, if nothing else, blatant and unapologetic fear-mongering.

Then, in 2006, Warner Brothers released the next project the Wachowski Brothers had following the (silly and pretentious) end to the Matrix trilogy. It was an adaptation of a graphic novel from Alan Moore and David Lloyd about a revolutionary trying to jostle the public of a dystopian London from their political slumber.

The movie, of course, was "V for Vendetta".

The title character, V, is a vehemently verbose vigilante who vows vigorous vengeance for the virtuous vulgus victimized by a vile vanguard.

Did the previous sentence take me 20 minutes to write? Yes, yes it did.

V marks the 5th of November, Guy Fawkes Day, by bombing the Old Bailey, a historic London court. The act is one of rebellion against a theocratic administration, led by a scene-chewing John Hurt, that used the panic following a wide-spread poisoning to rise to power and control all aspects of British life with an iron fist. Tangled in with V, played with aplomb by Wachowski veteran Hugo Weaving, is Evey, an eventually bare-headed Natalie Portman. Hot on the trail of Evey and V is Inspector Finch, played by Stephen Rea, who is warned from the highest authorities against digging too deep into V's motives.

The result: an adaptation that, although a slight departure from the source material, effectively ridicules public apathy, manufactured fear, theocratic and militaristic rule, and specifically the Patriot Act, Guantanamo Bay, Abu Grahib, Dick Cheney, and Glenn Beck all in the not-always-subtle disguise of an action thriller.

The success of "V for Vendetta" lies not only in the sharpness and immediacy of its political commentary, but the fact that the story does not rely on the parallels to keep the story moving. Despite the producer's awareness of the time they were making the film and the details they included because of the climate, the themes of "V for Vendetta" are broad enough that it can stand alone.

What we are given with "V for Vendetta" is a story of revenge, retribution, and awakening that is carried primarily by superb casting and the idea of triumph of the common man. The final act of "V" is, not to purposely alliterate, visceral. Your heart will swell, and I guarantee you will never again listen to the 1812 Overture the same.

TOO MUCH: V occasionally being a whining sissy

COULD HAVE USED MORE: exploding landmarks, dominoes

FILM SNOB NOTE: To film the final scene outside of the Parliament, Westminister was shut down for three nights from midnight to five am, the biggest accommodation for a film that was ever made for the area. Graphic novel co-author Alan Moore distanced himself from the film after his previous works were, in his eyes, bastardized for the screen, as he would do again for the 2009 release of "Watchmen". The other co-author, David Lloyd, said he liked the film and thought Moore would only approve of a straight depiction from the novel.

IHYFM RATING: A solid FOUR AND A HALF out of FIVE MEHS.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: You picked a good thriller, and if you ever ask me to hang onto a mysterious package for you, I should probably say 'no'.

*I couldn't find a clip of this scene from the Colin Hanks vehicle "Orange County". If you caught the reference, you deserve a cookie.